Obligatory New Year’s Post

Hey kids! Did you miss me?

 
Cliché statement about new beginnings. Blah blah, going to post more, etc.

 
As I write these words, I feel kind of guilty. I think I do this every year. New year! New start! New me! Will write more!

 
I never do. Y’all know this.

 
I was supposed to be a writer. At some point in my life, that’s what I wanted to be. I carried around notebooks as a kid full of stories about my sister and I as superheroes. My English teachers all encouraged me to keep writing. There were tons of short stories and ideas started. Doodles. Notes. Character sketches. Monsters.

 
And somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I stopped writing.

 
It’s not that I don’t love it. Just, life got in the way.

 
I used to feel bad. I’d look at the “Must Read YA Books!” and I’d see the authors, people around my age (even younger now), and I’d think, “That should have been me.” These people dedicated their life to writing, and I can’t even keep a blog.  I’d join writing groups. There would be people there talking about how their jobs were temporary until they became a full time writer, and I’d think…but I really love my job.

 
Maybe this world wasn’t for me.

 
There was always an excuse. I had another dream besides writing (working in movies) and I learned that yes, I could actually do that with my life, so I chased that. I went back to school. I worked two jobs to get by. I went through seventeen roommates in two and a half years. I moved to a new country. Started an intensive internship. Struggled with a long distance relationship with a partner who couldn’t communicate, and then a break-up. The revelation after that it hadn’t been what I thought it was. I was lonely. I was scared. I was depressed. I stopped writing.

 
And that’s….just fine.

 
I’m doing better. Like, I can say that with sincerity now. I know my life isn’t perfect (could really do without the family drama), but for the first time in a long time, it’s stable. I’m not in school or interning or working at a theme park with random hours. Dropping my relationship really improved my self-confidence and anxiety.  I’m doing what I love. They love me too, and offered me a long contract. Management is helpful and wants my mental health to improve. I have two kick-ass best friends who support me. I have a really awesome roommate. I even have my cats with me.

 
GUYS I GOT THIS.

 
And this year, I’d honestly like to do more creative things. Now that I don’t have to stress over job searching and passing training, I have time to focus on me. I miss being creative. I miss drawing and writing and crafting.

 
Not blogging doesn’t mean I can’t be a writer. Having more than one passion in life is okay. I mean really, I love my normal day job. I work on movies, how cool is that? I wouldn’t give that up for anything.

 
It just means I need to focus on making time for my writing, after hours. Or maybe on my lunch break.

 
I might blog more this year, for writing exercises. I might not. I might post weekly or forget it for months. We’ll see.

 
It’s going to be okay, either way