I AM SURROUNDED BY SPIDERS
THE OTHER DAY WHEN I CAME HOME FROM COLLEGE THE FIRST THING I DID WAS TO CLOSE THE GATE TO THE YARD SO THE DOG COULDN’T GET OUT AND I BASICALLY STUCK MY FACE IN A BIG SPIDER WEB AND THE SPIDER WAS THERE LIKE OH HI WHY IS YOUR FACE IN MY HOUSE
AND THERE IS A GIANT NETTED SHEET-Y WEB BESIDE THE STAIRCASE OUTSIDE AND I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHO LIVES THERE BECAUSE THAT IS ONE THICK WEB
AND JUST NOW I WENT TO TAKE THE RECYCLING UP FRONT AND I WENT TO GRAB THE BIN AND YEAH THIS GUY CRAWLED ACROSS MY LITTLE FINGER
YEAH I WILL NOT TAKE THE RECYCLING UP FRONT, NOT FOR ALL THE TEA IN CHINA. THE BUGGER IS JUST SITTING THERE ON THE HANDLE NOW AND I’M SURPRISED THE NEIGHBORS DID NOT CALL THE COPS BECAUSE I SCREAMED LIKE I WAS BEING ATTACKED BUT I BASICALLY WAS.
IT NEARLY KILLED ME TO GOOGLE THAT SPIDER FYI BECAUSE I SAW ALL THE OTHER SPIDERS COMMONLY FOUND IN MICHIGAN. LET ME TELL YOU. I AM NEVER GOING OUTSIDE AGAIN.
Sorry for capslock but ICK. I’ll write you a nice, eloquent post tomorrow about bugs I dislike. For now I’m going to sleep and try to forget about what I just touched.
Zoey Delmaire Writes 