Don’t let me near a computer after 3AM…

It’s 3:30 in the morning, and I’m in one of the campus computer labs pulling my second all-nighter in four days. Compared to Sunday night, I’m surprisingly lucid, so I decided I felt like blogging. No one really reads these anyways, especially when they’re not Disney related, am I right?

I’ve got homework to do, but I’m not in the mood to do it. I’ve got all night to do a shot list. Well, five hours. Easy. I should just get it out of the way, but I’d rather sit here and search youtube, and wonder why the heck the only girl’s bathroom is closed for cleaning at 3am. Who’s cleaning bathrooms at 3am? Don’t say it’s because there’s nobody around at 3am, because this lab is full of other students pulling all-nighters. People who procrastinated their big essays. Those really smart kids who don’t sleep at all, just study and survive off of Mountain Dew and stellar grades. And those people who don’t have anything better to do at 3am except sit on Facebook and post useless status updates.

Usually, my all-nighters indicate my insanity. It begins around 2am where I see things crawling up the wall. Running across the floor. The room is crawling with critters that I can only see out of the corner of my eye. Next, I can’t concentrate on anything. I bounce between websites and episodes of Family Guy and whatever random show is on the Disney Channel, and my homework, and my iPod. I’m twitchy and can’t sit still. Next comes the part where I do everything at the same time. Including watch both shows. And then I go about my day in a haze, doing the most interesting things. My post all-nighter feats include falling asleep in Adventureland outside of the Pirates ride (I was a guest at the time, don’t worry!); taking an Asian Art History final and writing “Karma Sutra” as one of my answers (I caught this in time and aced the exam); neurotically cleaning my entire apartment in just under an hour; and writing a blog entry about how I wanted to write an English paper drunk. (Lizzy, stop glaring at me.)

That last one isn’t quite as insane as it sounds, honest. I’ve been thinking that for a while, actually. Understand, I will probably never do it, but it’s entertaining to think about. You see, I’m in an English class for fiction writing. It really is a fun class. The professor is one of those fresh out of grad school professors, but he really knows his stuff. We spend classes doing zany writing exercises and deeply discussing what we’ve read. I really enjoy it.

But the things we read are so mind boggling and BIZARRE! An panther like alien that does crack; a man who’s miserable and shoots kittens; a kindly aunt who returns from the dead as a bitchy, sex-craving, rotting corpse; a girl with a hand of fire and a girl with a hand of ice; an overweight man who kills raccoons for a living, then later, his boss (spoilers!)… We sit there in class talking about the hidden meanings and symbolism and all that jazz, and I do participate in that, I really do, but inside I’m wondering WHAT WERE THOSE WRITERS SMOKING!?

Every weekend, our homework consists of a blog entry, a short writing piece based off our class work and a prompt. Our professor picks two examples to read to the class on Tuesdays. We have had some pretty strange stuff read. Like the guy who’s teeth fall out every night (he proceeds to describe all the teeth in the human mouth). Or the guy with no pupils. Such strange yet metaphorical things that are so out there, that I’ve come to the conclusion that my classmates, when doing these assignments, are not in their right minds.

Think about it. This is Penn State. We’re given our assignments on Thursdays/Fridays, when the drinking has begin. The assignment is due Sunday at midnight. At some point in their partying haze, or maybe in their hung-over state, they spew out their homework assignment. And they produce deep bogus that our professor adores, and reads aloud to the class on Tuesday.

They aren’t in their right minds, because I’ve tried it. I don’t like drinking, and I really don’t want to mess around with drugs ever, not even for the sake of homework. But Sunday night, during my all-nighter, I revamped THIS and submitted it. And much to my surprise, it got read aloud in class. But it wasn’t bogus! It was nice. Go figure. So I succeeded, without putting strange substances in my system.

Except for Mountain Dew.

*twitch*