Addiction

I am trying to be a film major…and I have no idea why.

Don’t get me wrong, film is great, and I enjoy it very much. If I get into the major, I will be thrilled. Just…I love something more.

Theater.

I don’t know when my addiction started. I liked musicals when I was younger, but I guess the one that really got me hooked was Wicked. I know, I know, everyone likes that, but this was back in 2005 when it was new, and I was the unpopular girl of school. I could identify, as corny as that sounds.

But it extended past just identifying with characters. Soon I’d memorized the lyrics, was listening to the vocal techniques, unraveling the orchestra in the background, looking at sketches online of costumes and sets…the entire process had me captivated.

And so it stayed. I did performing in high school and adored it, but was also thrilled when the tech director of the school took me up on the catwalks. When I quit choir, I went to the Performing Arts Center and asked for a job. I ended up as the stage manager, of all things. It was a tough job, but I was happy. I loved the process behind the show, watching the show go from paper and dreams to something fantastic. Watching the actors become someone else, listening for audience reactions. It’s a small speck of magic.

The musicals themselves always had a way of ruling my life. 8^th grade and freshman year of high school, I was addicted to Wicked. I knew the show by heart; I gave all my friends nicknames from the show, and basically drove everyone insane with quoting the lyrics. (This is a phase I hope to never re-live again, although I know certain friends of mine will argue I was like that with Hair in my freshman year of college.)

Sophomore year was Phantom of the Opera, primarily because my best friend at the time was madly in love with the idea of the Phantom. My obsession was toned down greatly- I was apologizing profusely for my Wicked addiction, and I kept the Phantom references between me and my friend. Junior year was a mess for me, so my soundtrack was Sweeney Todd. This I mostly kept for myself, because I didn’t want anyone thinking I would turn into a razor wielding lunatic…if they didn’t think that already (just the lunatic part!). Senior year I had a Hello, Dolly! and Seussical (Jr.) kick, but that’s because I was stage managing them, I had to know the shows inside out anyways. No random quoting to my friends, except my boyfriend of the time, but he was in the pit orchestra for Dolly, so we’d have our moments of singing the music and laughing at incidents from rehearsal.

And now I’m in college, and I found a wonderful group, the Penn State Thespians. I can keep working on shows. I built sets for Sweeney Todd, I did run crew for Hair, and this semester I was assistant tech director and follow spot #1 for Jesus Christ Superstar.

It’s a ton of fun. Working on shows and doing it with a bunch of really good friends gives the experience a completely different feeling. I dedicated myself to building Sweeney sets (first semester in college, I didn’t know people), I drove all my friends insane by singing songs from Hair over and over (Manchester England England, across the Atlantic sea..), and I went crazy sprinting to the Jesus Christ Superstar set building (TAPS)  every day for a week this semester. I would have been more dedicated to JCS, but I had several…mishaps. And hospital trips. See my epic story post.

I did have a Hair kick, but not as much of one for JCS. I do have an attachment to a few of the songs… Everything’s All Right and I Don’t Know How to Love Him both seem to fit some of the things I’m going through. King Harrods’s Song never fails to get me to smile, and Damned for All Time is catchy (can anyone else hear the Batman theme there?)

For JCS, I feel I was a little more disconnected with that, probably because spots is a separate universe from the rest of the crew (mainly because of our isolated location). But the show was still amazing. Building the sets was a lot of fun and worth running across campus ten billion times for. Watching the show from the spots booth was still mind blowing, especially the final performance. The set was well designed, the lights were gorgeous…and the actors were epic. They were highly believable and their voices are worthy of Broadway…and the three leads were freshman, which added to the WOW! factor.

And there’s that magical feeling you get during the final moments of the show that bring it all into perspective. Everybody crying over Claude’s death while the cast sings Let the Sunshine In (spoilers!), or looking at the dark, lifeless stage with the one single light on the empty cross (spoilers!) makes everything, all of the blood and tears and frustration and hospital trips, worth it. We’re all together in those final moments of the show, looking back at something beautiful. We’re all connected, whether we know it or not. It’s the best feeling in the world.

This is what I do.